State of Affairs:5-5-2012

Holy shit. It's May fifth. Where did this semester go?
The good news is that I've actually kept up with all of my classes this semester and (if all goes according to plan) I'll have my associates degree by the end of the summer and my bachelor's degree by next summer. Just two years late, not so bad. I also might get a promotion to lead teacher at work. I feel mixed about it. I want the promotion because of the money, and the fact that I think I deserve it. I know that sounds completely self-absorbed. But here's the thing. I've been at my job for two years. I've only called in three times and one of those times was because I had to take my mother to the emergency room. I'm never late. I've never had a complaint from a parent or co-worker. Anything they ask me to do I do. I've been flexible, respectful, and I'm good at my job. Very rarely do I ever admit to being good at anything. In fact, before this job, the only thing I would ever admit to being good at was writing. (Now I wouldn't even necessarily admit to that...) But I am good at my job. I'm good at my job not because I'm better than anyone else, but because I care. Because I go into work and enjoy what I do and I love those kids and I love my coworkers and I want to make a good impression on my parents and my coworkers. I want people to know how much I care about my job because I really do love my job. Two years in and I still love it. That has to say something.
I've pretty much been flying under the radar of my boss the entire time I've worked there. I've even had her apologize for being a dick to me once (which she almost never does). So when I found out that the lead teacher whose spot I'm filling in for isn't coming back, I wasn't sure what the outcome of that was going to be. Last summer when my lead teacher left I didn't even consider the option that they would give it to me (even though I knew that I could have done the job, I was aware that they didn't really know what I was capable of and also I wasn't close to getting my degree). I thought that the initiative I showed while we didn't have a lead teacher (I did basically all of the lead teacher duties) went unnoticed. Now I'm thinking maybe they didn't. Now that I'm in the baby room my assistant director (who is pretty much the eyes and ears of the center) works with me a lot more. She never says anything about my work but the fact that she was the first one to suggest I get the lead teacher position makes me feel good. I completely respect my assistant director. She used to be the lead teacher in the infant room and I know that she cares a lot about that room. Her best friend at the center is the one who's spot I'm filling. My first spot of recognition I felt was when they moved me to the infant room and the Toddler one lead teacher argued with her about it and she said "the infant room is more important". It made me feel like they finally appreciated all the hard work I had been doing over the last two years.
So now my director hasn't actually said anything official, but at my evaluation she said "i wouldn't have a problem giving the position to you" which is basically the highest form of praise I'm ever going to get out of that woman. It's the most appreciated I've ever felt at my job. My toddler one lead teacher is upset because she wants me back in her room, but the infant room teachers are happy because they want me to stay. It feels really good. I hate to admit it, but I am one of those people who needs at least a minimal amount of recognition for my hard work. I had never stopped trying at my job despite the lack of this. It's not really a job where you can do the bare minimum, because there are kids involved (although, you'd be surprised at how many teachers at our center manage it), but I had pretty much given up on any kind of forward movement. Now that it's a possibility, I'm a little scared. It's a lot of responsibility. A lot of social interaction that I'm not looking forward to.  But I've got to jump into the world at some point, right?