Excerpt from "The Straw People"

The second big tragedy of my life happened on a Tuesday, which is an even more inconsiderate day for a tragedy to happen. Tuesdays were my counseling session days. I noticed that Grim wasn't there when I arrived outside of Mrs. Simpson's office. I didn't think too much of it. He could have been sick, or he could have just skipped that day. It wasn't the first time he hadn't been there. There was no grand feeling in my gut that something was wrong. At least not until Mrs. Simpson opened the door to her office and stepped out.

Her face was blotchy and red like she had been crying. She held a tissue in her hand and had her sweater wrapped tightly around her. “Come in, Monroe,” she said.

I wanted to say no. I didn't know what was wrong but I knew immediately that I didn't want to go into that office. If I stayed sitting in the chair for the rest of eternity then I never had to know the reason why she was crying and I could live my life in peace.

I didn't say no. I stood up and walked past her and took my usual seat in front of her desk. She closed the door and sat down and stared at her hands for a good while. I felt out of place. I was interrupting something personal. “Should I go?” I asked.

She shook her head. “It's about James.”

“James?” I didn't know anyone named James.

“Grim.”

I smiled despite the situation. I could not wrap my head around the idea that Grim's name had actually been James. The look that she gave me killed my smile rather quickly. “What about Grim?”

“Last night, James took his own life.”

I had the feeling that she had rehearsed that line a thousand times and it still hadn't come out the way she'd hoped it would. I pictured her standing in front of a mirror reciting the information. I needed to. I needed to think about anything other than what she had just said to me. Grim was dead.

The floor fell out from under me. I expected my chair to plummet all the way down to the center of the earth and burst into flames. I was so sure that this would happen that I gripped the sides of the chair until my knuckles turned white. “No,” was all that I could manage to say. Mrs. Simpson nodded.

“I'm very sorry to have to be the one to deliver this news to you,” she said. It felt like a cheap thing to say.

“Can I skip the rest of our meeting?” I asked.

She seemed reluctant. She didn't want to let an unstable fifteen year old walk out after hearing such tragic news, but I don't think she was aware of how close Grim and I actually were. She didn't know that my body had suddenly gone hollow and the room was spinning and I wasn't even sure if I would be able to stand.