Sunday, February 5, 2012

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Even though no one reads this blog, i like having the outlet.
I finished the found footage script (first draft anyway) and I like the way it turned out. I'm still not sure if it's actually "horror" but if it ends up being good enough to submit to festivals that's probably what genre I would submit it under. I'm buying a camera with my tax return and fully intend to force my friends to film on at least a bi-weekly basis so that I have footage to learn final cut. I should probably buy a book or something to teach myself.
For some reason I have this feeling of hope within me. I don't know what it is exactly. I don't know what caused it (it could be the first major exciting thing to happen in my life- actually meeting one of my celebrity crushes) but I'm enjoying it. It gives me inspiration. Instead of feeling frustrated with the lack of any headway I've managed to make in my life I feel hope that I'm eventually going to end up where I need to be. Truth be told, I always imagined that I'd have my shit together by the time I was 23. That's not going to happen. Although I think mentally I'm pretty much there. I've finally gotten to a place in my life where I know who I am and I'm happy with who that person is. I can honestly say I have confidence in myself as a person, which is not something I ever thought would happen. I think it might be the adderall, if I'm being completely honest. It's allowed me to be productive like I've never been before. It's strange, adderall has gotten kind of a street-drug rap because of all the recreational use, but it's helped me so much. It's allowed me to be the functional person that I've always known I could be. I still struggle with severe social anxiety, but that's something that a pill will never fix. The general anxiety (which occasionally pops up now and then) seems to have abated to a minor nuisance.
So here's to 2012 (we're already one month in-how did that happen?) and I'm looking forward to the year ahead.